2013 to me is not very much of a anus horibillis" like 1992 to Regina Elizabeth the Second, but it was quite a year, a year I would remember in many terms.
A year that I skipped from my work in Ambank, I stopped working resigning myself on the 27th February - my show cause letter stating my intention to continue my Masters Degree in my Alma Mater, Northern University in Kedah. Offer letter received early that month, leaving behind my family again - Im took off i guess from the stress full life there, I stopped to think I released my self in to the academia life style again. Like my dad use to say "One day you will have no choice but to read!" ~ dad You win (=
Smiles apart, I went through the early part quite simply easy from February to April 2013 - Year was going smooth. Not much a hurdle, Like my cousin said "Owh come on, studying is the easy part of Life" ~ till you meet the real hard stuff you kind a don't notice that you know. I met mine in mid April, tears was just the simplest thing when it comes to trusting some one with your heart.
Till today I still think she was a wonderful person, and I cannot reason with myself why she was so terrible to me. the way she spoke, the way she looked at me the pick of words, grammar and what not simply changed from sweet to sour. I just had to hold myself together for the next four months . Mid April to Mid September, are the months that tore me down to the pieces, no one will understand ~ neither do I.
The mean time I met wonderful people who just would sit and listen to me cry and mumble and be the kid that was dying inside, looking in to my eye. They were just there what could I say. relationship was just friend but they meant to me more than that at that moment. I don't mind them leaving me now, but I could have been worse if they left me at that moment. These people came from know where, thinking back, I remember my grandmothers last call to me when I was in India studying in primary 5, age was circa 11. I didn't understand much but because my love for my avva, I used to call her - I remember that short conversation till today "Will you come back to see me?, she paused, dont worry I will be around you many forms, I will be nearest to you when no one else are beside you". I guess at the moment, after 14 years, the moment I was falling apart, she was there in the form of those 3 people. making sure i get through it ~ making sure the child she held in her arms for 10 strong years make it through without her beside.
Those days were good, I met nice people, I made through the sleepless nights, I finished my assignments at the library most of the time, I didn't want my room mate see me crying through the night. I made it through i got first class the exams though, Thank you to the pretty girl, her play full jokes and cuteness. The handsome guy that would talk to me the whole night, silly stuff we were almost in love. and what not my teacher, she understood me like her own son, never said a word but she would tell me to stay calm, prioritize and chase my dreams. "distractions are the mans first enemy, stay calm, brush away the thing that wont help you succeed"
~ Who cares, Im just what I am, A guy ~ Mark Spencer
Pridiv . 30/12/2013 . UUM Library postgraduate room . 3.36pm
